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Any law which violates the inalienable rights of man is essentially unjust and tyrannical; it is not a law at all. - Maximilien Robespierre A Violently Executed Feed BUY SOME STUFF, MAKE ME HAPPY Contact me. Links and stuff Handshake Bloggers Damn Good Music
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Saturday, January 31, 2004
Okay, at some point, this kid should have stopped and asked himself, "Is this a good idea?" Boy throws parties, then burns down house to hide damage. John Layne started Christmas early last year, flying to San Diego with his wife Dec. 5 to visit his father. Layne, 40, instructed his 16-year-old son, a sophomore at Oak Hills High, to behave and not have any parties. That sensible parental advice fell on deaf ears, though, as "hundreds of kids" partied all week at Layne's Dent house, neighbors later told him. They were neighbors who would, on the day Layne was due to return to his Ebenezer Road home, call to report the house was burning to the ground. Even worse for Layne, his son was convicted this week in Hamilton County Common Pleas Court after admitting he burned down the house in a desperate attempt to cover up the damage his forbidden parties caused. "He set three separate fires and torched it with gas," Layne said Tuesday as bulldozers knocked down the charred remains of his house, a loss the insurance company estimated at $380,000 for the house and its contents. "They got him to admit on tape he set the fires." Now, I did my share of stupid things when I was a teenager, including the "Mom and Dad Ain't Here Party", but I just knew that arson was a step or two across the line. Lying to your parents, that wasn't such a big deal, as long as you didn't get caught, but arson? Definitely not a good idea. These kids today. I blame the GOP. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:34:00 AM   | Friday, January 30, 2004
OK, Mojave 66! You just tell me those damn snakes ain't up to something Customer releases deadly snakes into bank. I'm betting the snakes put 'im up to it. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:34:00 AM | | Spiffy! El Kabong at Rising Like a Trout linked to this nifty toy: Mr. Picassohead. Like him, I could play with it all day. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:26:00 AM | Friday 5 From Morgaine at Eclectic Waves (love the name, there): Ok.... Well, I've been thinking about absent friends - the people you just aren't in contact with any more, for whatever reason. Maybe it was intentional, on either of your parts, maybe there is something unresolved between you, maybe you just lost a phone number or address and you would be in touch, if only you could! - so: Who are the five people from your past you would most like to be able to see, speak to or simply communicate with, by whatever means? Why did you lost touch? What would you tell them if only you had the chance - without fear of major repercussions, especially if that's why you haven't been in touch already! (1) My grandparents. My father's mother died of a stroke when I was in elementary school, his father early in high school. Granny always scared me a little - the hair loss from chemotherapy and her prickly nature being the primary reasons, and I've always regretted not being more affectionate towards her. Grandpa taught me to enjoy crossword puzzles and word games, and I used to sit with him and do the easy puzzles in his crossword magazines while he worked on the hard ones. I loved those times - he taught me tips to help sole the puzzles, and it just meant a lot to me to have that time with him. I want to be able to show them what I've become, and I wish they could have met Melissa and the kids. (2) Tabetha Jaske. She was a coworker at a crappy retail job here in Austin, and we lost touch shortly after her son was born. She was a lifeline for me when I was down at my worst, and I feel like I never really balanced the friendship sufficiently. I want to tell her I'm sorry I just stopped talking to her, and just be a better friend. (3) Trey Lackey. A damn good friend in college - we met during Rush Week our freshman year, and spent the entire time being snarky about the frat houses. After graduation, we lost touch for a while, then ran into each other when he was getting his graduate degree in Psychology at UAB. I went to his wedding, then we lost touch again. You're starting, no doubt, to see a pattern - I'm not so good at the maintaining friendship thing, unless someone's right there, or abnormally persistent. (4) Mark Chapman. Another good friend from college, and another person I want to apologise to for not keeping in touch, and to see what's going on. This one, I left on bad terms - we'd been discussing some ideas for a comic we were sorta collaborating on, and he felt I'd taken a character he'd created in a different direction than he wanted. I never communicated back to him, the comic idea got shelved (we'd never found an artist), and I just feel like that the whole thing needs closure. (5) Chrissy Richards. My first love, I declared my love to her in 5th grade at a party. She was noncommittal, and I found out the next day that she was going with some other guy. As a pre-teen with a fragile ego and sensitive soul, I was devastated. Put me off of love (or at least declaractions thereof) until college, when I lost my virginity. She moved away around 7th grade, and I've never seen her since. Really, I'd just like to see what happened to her. Whatever hormonally-driven adoration was there is long gone, but I'm still curious. Part of me would like to be able to say, "Hah! See what you missed? HAH!" but that's not a driving need. Really, I don't live life with many regrets - I figure what's done is done, and if I've burned a bridge behind me, I'm not going to stand at the edge and wish I could cross it back. Honorable mentions go to several of the bullies that made my life hell in elementary school. I don't want to say anything to them per se, just work 'em over in a back alley and leave them bleeding. The other Friday Fivers are listed on the left side of the blog. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:18:00 AM | Thursday, January 29, 2004
Reminder This is my blog. You're welcome to take issue with me, but if I think you're trolling, bad things will happen to your comments. I welcome rational disagreement, sycophancy, flattery, bribes and erotic fantasies, but trolling or idiotic comments will feel the mighty wrath of the edit function. Why? Because I'm a self-aggrandizing, narcissistic jerk. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:35:00 PM | Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Some good words from Doctor Dean This bit from his Rolling Stone interview is why I'm gonna vote for him: What makes you think you won't just get steamrolled once you are in Washington? The Democrats just need a president who's going to support them. That's what I did on the civil-unions bill in Vermont. I came out in favor of civil unions about an hour after the [Vermont Supreme Court] decision came out. I knew it would give cover to a lot of legislators who would want to do the right thing but just didn't have the nerve. Didn't you also say at the time that the whole idea of legally sanctioned gay relationships made you feel uncomfortable? Sure. Look, I didn't know anything about the gay community when I signed the civil-unions bill. I grew up in the same homophobic milieu that everybody else did. I was told the same thing about gay people that all heterosexuals were. And most gay people were told the same thing themselves -- by parents, ministers and everybody else. I was uncomfortable, and I said so. And I got a lot of flak for it. But I still thought it was the right thing to do. You don't allocate civil rights by who makes you comfortable and who doesn't. I believe that civil unions was a masterful way of making sure that every gay and lesbian Vermonter was entitled to the same rights as everybody else -- without getting into the business about telling churches who they could marry and who they couldn't marry. I think what we did was the right thing. Others may do it differently. Equal rights under the law is a fundamental part of everybody's thinking in America -- which is why I don't think civil unions is going to be a big issue in the election for me. Is this an important enough issue to have it be one of the main issues of a presidential campaign? Well, civil rights is an important issue. Gay marriage is not. Karl Rove will make it that way. Because he'll claim that everything is gay marriage, and this and that and the other thing. So you are just going to change the subject? Yeah. If we allow the Republicans to run the campaign based on divisive issues -- like prayer in school, gay marriage and gun control -- then we lose. The right wing will try to make a big issue of it, and they'll get some votes from some people who would have voted for them anyway. Most people do not want to traffic in hate. And this election is going to be about whether we cater to the worst in us or cater to the best in us, and I intend to do the latter. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:03:00 PM | Heh You are Spike "I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it." What "Buffy" Character Are You? posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:13:00 PM | Phaedrus asked me in regards to my last post: Let slip the dogs of fuckin' war. You know "The Second Coming" by W.B. Yeats, Adam? Cause I think we're livin' it. And I'm perfectly willing to tackle that rough beast. I know I can't take it down by myself, but maybe if enough of us try. I reply: If we are mark'd to die, we are enow To do our country loss; and if to live, The fewer men, the greater share of honour. God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more. Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host, That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart; his passport shall be made And crowns for convoy put into his purse: We would not die in that man's company That fears his fellowship to die with us. This day is called the feast of Crispian: He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named, And rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian:‘ Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars. And say 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.' Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot, But he'll remember with advantages What feats he did that day: then shall our names. Familiar in his mouth as household words Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester, Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd. This story shall the good man teach his son; And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remember'd; We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition: And gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall think themselves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whilst any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. and this: Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; Or close the wall up with our English dead! In peace there's nothing so becomes a man As modest stilness and humility: But when the blast of war blows in our ears, Then imitate the action of the tiger; Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood, Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage; Then lend the eye a terrible aspect: Let it pry through the portage of the head Like the brass cannon; let the brow o'erwhelm As fearfully doth a galled rock O'erhang and jutty his confounded base, Swill'd with the wild and wasteful ocean. Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide; Hold hard the breath, and bend up every spirit To his full height ! - On, on, you noble English, Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof ! - Fathers that, like so many Alexanders, Have in these parts from morn till even fought, And sheath'd their swords for lack of argument :- Dishour not your mothers; now attest That those whom you call'd fathers did beget you ! Be copy now to men of grosser blood, And teach them how to war! - And you, good yeoman Whose limbs were made in England, show us here The mettle of your pasture; let us swear That you are worth your breeding: which I doubt not; For there is none of you so mean and base, That hath not noble lustre in your eyes. I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips, Straining upon the start. The game's afoot: Follow your spirit ; and upon this charge Cry - God for Harry! England! and SAINT GEORGE!!!!!!! So, yes. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:14:00 PM | Entered without comment O, pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth, That I am meek and gentle with these butchers! Thou art the ruins of the noblest man That ever lived in the tide of times. Woe to the hand that shed this costly blood! Over thy wounds now do I prophesy, --- Which, like dumb mouths, do ope their ruby lips, To beg the voice and utterance of my tongue --- A curse shall light upon the limbs of men; Domestic fury and fierce civil strife Shall cumber all the parts of Italy; Blood and destruction shall be so in use And dreadful objects so familiar That mothers shall but smile when they behold Their infants quarter'd with the hands of war; All pity choked with custom of fell deeds: And Caesar's spirit, ranging for revenge, With Ate by his side come hot from hell, Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war; That this foul deed shall smell above the earth With carrion men, groaning for burial. William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 4:58:00 PM | Case in point "the illiteracy level of our children are appalling" - George W. Bush speaking to US Conference of Mayors. No comment, of course. Just a link to a speech by our fine Commander in posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 4:07:00 PM | 45-ton whale carcass explodes A sperm whale carcass being transported through downtown Tainan City, Taiwan exploded in a shower of decomposing meat, blood and intestines. For a pic, go to Maggie's Blog at mediawench.com I'm gonna have to remember how they did that, just in case I ever get my hands on a flatbed truck and a whale carcass. And, yes, I do plan for contingencies like that. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:59:00 PM | More snake-related weirdness Alabama toddler finds snake in bag of potatoes at Wal-Mart, tries to eat snake. Reports conflist - initially, the snake was described as a baby copperhead, but others in the same article indicate it might have been a corn snake instead. Either way, it's just further evidence that those damn snakes are up to something. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:56:00 PM | Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Al Franken, you da man! Franken body-slams heckler at Dean rally. Take THAT, whacknoodle Lyndon LaRouche FREAK! posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:30:00 PM | Grrrr resolved Spoke with Sprint again, and was told initially that it'd take 10-15 days to get my request sorted out, and that I'd have to provide documentation from the bank, again. Today, though, I had some time, and started firmly and politely (yes, I can do that) demanding to speak to someone in management. It took me 3 minutes once I got a supervisor on the line to point out the money in the closed account, and to get them to agree to move it over to the correct account. 3 minutes, no profanity, no threats of blood and fire. I'm kinda disappointed, actually - I was spoiling for a fight with 'em. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:46:00 AM | GAAAAAAAAH!!! Barcelona native surprised by python. Seems a 3' snake crawled out of this guy's toilet bowl. No word in the article as to whether the homeowner was sitting on the throne at the time, but just thinking about it gives me the heebie-jeebies. Gaaaaaaaaaaah. twitch posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:00:00 AM | Who'd'a thunk it? Found this test on Laura's blog: Now, who's our current Marilyn Monroe equivalent? Please don't say Madonna. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:54:00 AM | My beef with the Pope Here's my problem, see, and folks're welcome to talk it out with me: Despite JPII's relatively liberal pronouncements (Apologies to the Jews, acknowledgement that Galileo and Darwin were right, calls for World Peace, photo ops with the Dalai Lama, etc), the hierarchy of the RCC is still operating about 50-60 years behind the times, at least. When I hear the Pope, and his Cardinals, threatening excommunication for politicians that vote Pro-Choice, or condemning homosexuals, or denying women a voice in the hierarchy of the Church, I get pissed off. El Kabong was correct that it is necessary for someone not hip-deep in the world to properly provide perspective, but I feel that the perspective offered by the RCC is skewed out of proportion to the insight they offer. Do I hate all Catholics? Certainly not. Do I hate the Pope? Not really, although I hate a lot of the things he says. My main problem is the Church's stance on homosexuality. Yes, I understand that there are some passages in the bible that criticize it, but there are passages that come down even harder on eating pork, or touching women during their menses. If you're going to choose to ignore those, who says you can't ignore other passages? Let's face it - if you're not Jewish and making burnt offerings to J_h_v_h in the Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem, you're already picking and choosing what you'll obey in the Bible. In many ways, Saint Paul was the first post-modernist, opting as he did to offer salvation to gentiles. Kind of got off track there, but it's my damn blog, so I'll do it my way, mmm-K? See, the RCC says homosexuality is a sin. That's cool, they can say what they want, but to then demand that the laws be written to their satisfaction such that homosexuals are relegated to second class citizen status, that's wrong. The RCC picks at the mote of homosexuality in folks not even members of their faith, and ignores the beam of decades of child molestation in their ranks, systemic abuse that was condoned and covered up by current members of the College of Cardinals. That, folks, is hypocrisy. The molestor priests deserve prayerful correction, church funded retirements in monastaries and, in some cases, payoffs to their victims in exchange for silence, while gays are going to Hell? Catholic politicians that don't toe the party line get excommunicated? I think that's vile, repulsive behavior, and I'm gonna call 'em on it whenever I can. Not to mention, I think condemnations of homosexuality are pretty damn funny coming from a bunch of old men that, let's face it, wear some simply FABULOUS dresses and slippers. The hats, I don't like so much - some feathers would perk 'em up to no end, though. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:53:00 AM | Monday, January 26, 2004
Grrrr Been dealing with Sprint today - seems that the last 2 paments I made to our account were made inadvertantly to our old account number, and Sprint for some reason is unable to look at the old account, see that payments were posted to a closed account and move them to the correct one, which means I've got to get the bank to fax me proof that pament was made, then send Sprint a "Mother, may I?" fax requesting that they do what common sense dictates. I'm no computer or accounting expert, but it seems to me that if erroneous payments were made to a closed account, Sprint should be able to sort all of that out, and move them to the proper account without any hassle, but what the hell do I know? I'm just the GODDAMN CUSTOMER. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:15:00 AM | Sunday, January 25, 2004
Who's more presidential? Check this out - short movie, SFW, no Santorum at all (so click away, Arty!). I ain't makin' a comment, just pointing y'all towards somethin' of interest. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:48:00 PM | Adam's Helpful List Of Political Blogs Not gonna list Calpundit, or any of the other "super big name" blogs - these are smaller blogs, or blogs run by people with whom I've at least corresponded. Amadan's A Gathering of Fools. A game designer, wicked clever, he's got some damn interesting insights. Brad DeLong's Brad DeLong's Semi-Daily Journal. I first encountered Mr. DeLong through Brin-L, a fascinating discussion list for fans of David Brin. He's an economist, and put out some good, thought-provoking stuff. Will Garcia and Dave Friedman's Democracy Dave and Will of the People. I can't explain why I've forgotten to link to this blog for so long, despite my up-until-I-admit-this good friendship with the two of them. I blame the Orbital Mind Control Lasers. Gautam Mukunda's Mukunda's Musings. Well, for a while, at least, but this Ivy League scholar has unaccountably stopped posting. Infuriatingly conservative, but clear-headed and much more polite than your usual conservative. Plus, he's a baseball fan. Phaedrus' No Fear of Freedom - "Anti-right rants from an obnoxious lumpen proletarian." Clever, clever man. Not quite as obscenity-spewing-angry as I am, but still durn good. There's more out there, but these are the ones worth checking on my blogroll. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:05:00 AM | The Pope? Still a senile, clueless motherfucker Senile eunuch-by-choice bothered by media portrayal of sex, contraception and homosexuality. "Infidelity (and) sexual activity outside of marriage are depicted uncritically, while positive support is at times given to divorce, contraception, abortion and homosexuality," the 83-year-old pontiff said. "Such portrayals...are detrimental to the common good of society," And you'd know this... how? I mean, seriously - the man lives in seclusion, in the center of a theocratic state. He doesn't go out, unless he's sealed in the Popemobile. He isn't married, probably hasn't had sex EVER, and still condones the coverup of thousands of incidents of child molestation performed by priests in HIS OWN GODDAMN CHURCH. Can someone please tell me what the goddamn FUCK that senile fool knows about society, much less the common good? Feh. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:41:00 AM | Saturday, January 24, 2004
New book! Out shopping for some gifts today, and picked up for myself a copy of this: 
While the rest o' you chumps serve as meals on the hoof for the zombies, I'll be safely set up in a Secure Location, armed to the teeth and laughing to myself over your fates. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 5:06:00 PM | Friday, January 23, 2004
Friday 5 From Julie: While thinking about what to introduce as a topic for this week's Friday 5, i got stuck on two ideas: sex and cars. The first, because it's such a huge part of human existence, as well as being something that everyone thinks about at least a few times per day. Cars are much the same way, in that there's noone who's never been in one at least, noone who has NOT been dependent on the gas-guzzling machines at some point in their lives. And i think there's something to my train of thought. So I didn't want to ask people to write about their 5 favorite sexual positions, or ask people who have maybe never even owned a car to describe their five favorite vehicles. Instead, I want to know what your five best vehicular experiences have been. This encompasses every aspect of automotive existence, not just the sexual. :) Wow. This one will require some thought, as I'm not overly fond of cars, despite the necessity of my owning and driving one. Hopefully, my dutiful attendance to details like the oil and gas in the car will count in my favor when the Machines take over, and I can secure some kind of status as "Goodlife". But I digress. Top five automotive experiences. Oddly enough, I've never had sex in a car, on a car, under a car or next to a car. I think one time I might have been thinking about a car, but I was in college and drinking heavily, so my memory isn't terribly clear. Well, here goes. (1) 1984-5, Manchester, GA: Driving a 1978 Volkswagon Rabbit, I learned the joys od mudriding. Some might think that a VW isn't big enough for mud, but it enjoys one significant advantage over larger cars and trucks: it's small and light enough to kind of skim over the mud. If it gets stuck, three or four guys can move it, especially if one of them was smart enough to bring a come-along winch. Gotta be careful about the low clearance, though, if the road is rocky. A busted oil pan when you're a couple miles off a paved road is no fun. God, my dad hated the way I drove then. (2) Summer of 1987, Manchester, GA - Charleston, SC: Road trip with my buddy Chris Davis, who was on leave from the Navy. He'd just been stationed in Charleston to serve on the USS Francis Scott Key, and I helped him drive a bunch of his stuff to his new off-base apartment. We took with us a carton of smokes and about 10 pounds of beef jerky, and made a point of stopping to piss off of every bridge we crossed. It seemed like a good idea at the time. While in Charleston, we met up with a bunch of Chris' Navy buddies and went out drinking, where I think there was a fight with some Marines at some point. The trip back, a couple of the sailors came with us, and we almost bagged a buck with a .357 revolver somewhere between Buena Vista and Talbotton. It seemed like a good idea at the time. (3) Spring of 1988, Birmingham, AL to Louisville, KY: A group of theatre folks drove to the Southeastern Theatre Conference to look for summer jobs. Lots of show tunes were sung, improbable and scatalogical stories were swapped, and I had loads of fun spending 3 days not sleeping, hopped up on caffeine and interviewing at places that were rock-bottom jobs even by the crappy standards of the theatre community, like the one place that told me during the interview that they couldn't pay their staff much at all, so most employees just went on food stamps over the summer so they could eat. It was, really, the beginning of the end of my romantic attraction to "starving for my art." (4) Christmas, 1989. Atlanta, GA to Little Rock, AR: I'd borrowed a car from my parents and taken off to visit Melissa in Little Rock for Christmas. We'd already decided to get married, and I had a ring in my pocket to give her. I left Atlanta just after 5PM, and I'd decided (for a reason that utterly escapes me now) to drive north to Chattanooga, then cut across southern Tennessee to Memphis, then straight over to Little Rock. I wound up getting into Little Rock around 5AM, and Melissa and her dad met me at a gas station near their house so I could just follow them home. Melissa got in the car, and without any real ceremony at all, I gave her the engagement ring. I had some plan involving pretending to have bought her a pair of shoes and then the ring would be in the shoebox, but in retrospect, I was perhaps being too clever. Still, I can't complain about the end result. (5) This March, the UK: It hasn't happened yet, but I'm counting it because I've thought about it so much. Melissa, the kids and I are taking a 2 week trip to the UK with our best friends here in Austin and their kids. We're going to drive to Wales and stay in a really spiffo cottage, then wind it up with a few days in London. I'm a little nervous about how I'm going to get the entire UK to switch over to driving on the right side of the road ('cause I'M not going to change), but it's gonna be a good trip. Any readers that are interested in meeting me somewhere to BUY (Lots of beer), shoot me an email and we can try to figure out a meetup point. I have no honorable mentions - all the rest of my strong memories regarding automobiles are negative. The rest of the Friday Fivers are listed to the left. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:10:00 AM | Thursday, January 22, 2004
I think I see a solution to this man's problem $113m lotto winner victim of thieves - again Seems someone broke into his car and took a bag full of $100,000. Last year, he got assaulted and had $500,000 stolen from him. Hey, Mr. Rocket Science - STOP CARRYING SO DAMN MUCH CASH AROUND! That'll be $100,000 for my security services, thankyouverymuch. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:52:00 PM | OHIO, YOU SUCK ASS Fuckin' fascist, bigoted assbag scumsucking goat raping goddamn shit eating BASTARDS! Ohio Senate approves gay marriage ban. Not only do they cravenly knuckle under to the right on the issue of marriage, but this ban denies benefits for unmarried partners of ANY SEX. Because, ya know, it's a damn sin that unmarried people try to steal the benefits decent, married folk like Britney Spears deserve. The shitbag responsible for the bill, Sen. Jay Hottinger, said the bill was not an attack on homosexuals but rather meant to protect a traditional definition of marriage. "Ohio must be able to clearly establish and define our own laws rather than have another state or country define something as important as marriage," said Hottinger. - * How do businesses and universities in the state of Ohio feel about this? Dayton-based NCR Corp. sent a letter to lawmakers Dec. 12 saying the bill could hurt the company's ability to attract and retain employees. Yepo, that's the Rethuglicans, Pro! Business! All! The! Way! Except, of course, in areas in which they have to kowtow to the forces of So fuck you, Ohio. I don't hope you all die, because I've got a few good friends there. I'll give them time to get out before I come to kill the rest of you. * - Anyone else notice that the Rethuglicans are using the exact same arguments regarding the sanctity of heterosexual marriage as the Dixiecrat shitbags did when they were fighting race mixing? Yeah, I thought you did. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:09:00 AM | Wednesday, January 21, 2004
And don't forget, folks Dan Savage wants everyone to work to spread the word about Santorum. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:39:00 AM | I'm speechless I never realized that there was a market niche for products like this, and the sheer weirdness of the how-to video on their website puts me, quite frankly, at a loss for words. Poached from Amanda posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:31:00 AM | Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Sorry to disappoint No time today for any good rants - we're running about town today taking care of errands. I'll post something about my newly developing "Sims" addiction later. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:26:00 AM | Monday, January 19, 2004
 Which America Hating Minority Are You? Take More Robert & Tim Quizzes Watch Robert & Tim Cartoons posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:40:00 PM | I am not happy about this Not happy at all. Phaedrus at No Fear Of Freedom linked to a chilling article in The American Prospect by Robert Kuttner: America as a One-Party State. This article highlights the history of the current trends in Congress towards solid Republican control of both houses of Congress, focusing primarily on Tom DeLay's tactics that have marginalized the democratic process in America. Kuttner also points out the actions of Democrats like Jim Wright that helped get this ball rolling, and it's not a very pretty picture for America's future. I've ranted before on this blog about the Gerrymandering here in Texas, and that's just the most blatant example of something I consider tantamount to treason - removing the power of choice from the American voters. See, according to Kuttner, After two decades of bipartisan collusion in the creation of safe House seats, there are now perhaps just 25 truly contestable House seats in any given election year (and that's before the recent Republican super gerrymandering).. Look at that, folks. 25 seats contested every 2 years. You can be sure that the Rethuglicans aren't interested in increasing that number. To all those Democrats who thought it was a splendind idea to create "safe" seats, I hope you die. One of the things I love most about my country is the principle that politics can be about setting aside differences to get shit done. Obviously, to scum like Tom DeLay and Karl Rove, it's more important to have OBEDIENCE than rational discussion. The Rethuglican leadership have decided that it's important to intimidate and threaten members to get votes, and to make sure that everyone knows that stepping outside the Party's lockstep is as good as cutting your own throat. If anyone reading this is into the Rethuglican platform (homophobia, racism, dismantling of protection for workers, sexism - did I leave anything out?), I'm sure you're just thrilled to no end, but think about it: What happens when the party leadership decides something else is their target? What if they decide we need a King here in America? How about if the Constitution is suspended due to complications in the neverending "War on Terror"? What if fundamentalist Christians become a liability rather than an asset? You've gotta think about all the implications. I've always favored using either nonpartisan committees to appoint congressional districts or, better, computer programs. I figure the technology's already there, so it's a matter of writing some software that lumps voting districts together solely on the basis of vicinity - no more congressional districts that are hundreds of miles long and hundreds of feet wide. No more debacles like the last gerrymandering in Texas. No more Tom DeLay telling state legislators how to draw the districts. We really need to return to a time when there are 435 seats realistically up for grabs every election. That's the way to protect our Republic. A final quote from the article: Benjamin Franklin, leaving the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, was asked by a bystander what kind of government the Founders had bestowed. "A republic," he famously replied, "if you can keep it." posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:38:00 AM | Sunday, January 18, 2004
Hectic day today - out and about for almost its entirety I give you some more info on OUR HOLLOW EARTH below: 
posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:43:00 AM | Saturday, January 17, 2004
I know I wrote it once, I just can't figure out why anyone would GOOGLE it, dammit Today, someone googled me searching for the phrase "ass raped by rhinos". posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:13:00 PM | Whacknoodle of the week But at least he's a whacknoodle with the courage of his convictions. Steve Currey, described on his website as "one of the leading river explorers in the world", is planning an expedition to the North Pole, to enter the Hollow Earth. No, really. What's more, he's selling seats for the trip. If we are successful in finding the polar opening, then within 1,700 miles from any farthest north Arctic land bordering the Arctic Ocean we should reach the inner continent just as Admiral Richard E. Byrd did on his 1947 flight beyond the pole, as described in Amadeo Giannini's 1959 book, Worlds Beyond the Poles. At that time, Giannini wrote, "This United States Navy's polar exploratory force was preparing to embark upon one of the most memorable adventures in world history. Under the command of Rear Admiral Richard Evelyn Byrd, U.S.N., it was to penetrate into land extending beyond the North Pole supposed end of the Earth ... As the hour approached for the air journey into the land beyond, Admiral Byrd transmitted from the Arctic base a radio announcement of his purpose, but the announcement was so astonishing that its import was lost to millions who avidly read it in the press headlines throughout the world...The words of the message were momentous: 'I'd like to see that LAND BEYOND the Pole."..."That area BEYOND the Pole is THE CENTER OF THE GREAT UNKNOWN!" Subsequently, "...the admiral and his airplane crew accomplished a physical flight of seven hours duration in a northerly direction beyond the North Pole. Every mile and every minute of that journey beyond was over ice, water, or land that no explorer had seen...As progress was made beyond the Pole point, there was observed directly under the plane's course iceless land and lakes, and mountains where foliage was abundant. Moreover, a brief newspaper account of the flight held that a member of the admiral's crew had observed a monstrous greenish-hued animal moving through the underbrush of that land beyond the Pole." Oooooo-kaaaaaaay. Granted, there is a certain appeal in possibly getting to go to Savage Pelludcidar, but I'm not holding my breath. If they can manage a live video transmission and bring back some samples, we can maybe talk. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:57:00 AM | New Domestic Disturbance Yes, that's right. My brilliant and talented wife has a new column up at Austinmama.com - it's here. Read and enjoy. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:51:00 AM | Friday, January 16, 2004
Important mission First, read this article: Request for flight simulator software nets visit from State Trooper. Next, go to your nearest Staples and ask 'em about flight simulators. Act suspiciously. Fuck with their heads. Fly, my pretties! Fuck with the system! posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:55:00 PM | Friday 5 Courtesy of Marvin I don't usually remember my sleeping dreams, but sometimes I do. I have a handful stored away in my mind, dreams that for one reason or another have stayed with me over the years from childhood on through today. What are your five most notable dreams; when and where did they happen; and what do they mean to you? (1) Age 5. I was flying and being chased by a tyrannosaurus rex. I eventually got away, but only after it ate my leg. It's always served as a warning to me to keep my ass away from giant dinosaurs. (2) Age 12. I don't recall many of the details, but it was about me running down a long, twisting hallway, and behind me there was something I was trying to get away from. In the dream, I ran for days and days until I finally collapsed in exhaustion, and then just before whatever it was got me, I woke up all freaked out and shit. I've always suffered from a dread of unforseen consequences, and this seems to sum up both how I initially react to threats, and the futuility of running from them. Turn and face them, 'cause then it'll be over quicker. (3) Age 21. I was in college, and it was a sex dream. I won't go into the details, just note that Bernadette Peters was in it. It told me that Bernadette Peters is H-O-T HOT. (4) Age 27-ish. Austin, TX. During the "Dark Years", when I was deep in the throes of depression. I dreamed I was stuck out on a sandbar in the middle of a huge expanse of water, just deep enough that I had to stand on tiptoes to keep my nose above the surface. Every once in a while, a wave would come along and I'd be under the surface struggling for air, and I remember thinking in the dream that I couldn't do it much longer. It was about a week after that that I hit my lowest point, and shortly after that, I began clawing my way back to sanity. (5) Early teens. Nightmare about clowns and ants. Reinforced my strong dislike of bugs and people that paint their faces. The other Friday Fivers are listed to the left. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 11:39:00 AM | Fascism, anyone? Now, I'm not sayin' nothin' about anything, but I think we can all extrapolate. This is cut from an article by Laurence W. Britt that originally appeared in Free Inquiry Magazine: 14 Characteristics of modern fascist states: 1. Powerful and continuing expressions of nationalism. From the prominent displays of flags and bunting to the ubiquitous lapel pins, the fervor to show patriotic nationalism, both on the part of the regime itself and of citizens caught up in its frenzy, was always obvious. Catchy slogans, pride in the military, and demands for unity were common themes in expressing this nationalism. It was usually coupled with a suspicion of things foreign that often bordered on xenophobia. 2. Disdain for the importance of human rights. The regimes themselves viewed human rights as of little value and a hindrance to realizing the objectives of the ruling elite. Through clever use of propaganda, the population was brought to accept these human rights abuses by marginalizing, even demonizing, those being targeted. When abuse was egregious, the tactic was to use secrecy, denial, and disinformation. 3. Identification of enemies/scapegoats as a unifying cause. The most significant common thread among these regimes was the use of scapegoating as a means to divert the people’s attention from other problems, to shift blame for failures, and to channel frustration in controlled directions. The methods of choice—relentless propaganda and disinformation—were usually effective. Often the regimes would incite “spontaneous” acts against the target scapegoats, usually communists, socialists, liberals, Jews, ethnic and racial minorities, traditional national enemies, members of other religions, secularists, homosexuals, and “terrorists.” Active opponents of these regimes were inevitably labeled as terrorists and dealt with accordingly. 4. The supremacy of the military/avid militarism. Ruling elites always identified closely with the military and the industrial infrastructure that supported it. A disproportionate share of national resources was allocated to the military, even when domestic needs were acute. The military was seen as an expression of nationalism, and was used whenever possible to assert national goals, intimidate other nations, and increase the power and prestige of the ruling elite. 5. Rampant sexism. Beyond the simple fact that the political elite and the national culture were male-dominated, these regimes inevitably viewed women as second-class citizens. They were adamantly anti-abortion and also homophobic. These attitudes were usually codified in Draconian laws that enjoyed strong support by the orthodox religion of the country, thus lending the regime cover for its abuses. 6. A controlled mass media. Under some of the regimes, the mass media were under strict direct control and could be relied upon never to stray from the party line. Other regimes exercised more subtle power to ensure media orthodoxy. Methods included the control of licensing and access to resources, economic pressure, appeals to patriotism, and implied threats. The leaders of the mass media were often politically compatible with the power elite. The result was usually success in keeping the general public unaware of the regimes’ excesses. 7. Obsession with national security. Inevitably, a national security apparatus was under direct control of the ruling elite. It was usually an instrument of oppression, operating in secret and beyond any constraints. Its actions were justified under the rubric of protecting “national security,” and questioning its activities was portrayed as unpatriotic or even treasonous. 8. Religion and ruling elite tied together. Unlike communist regimes, the fascist and protofascist regimes were never proclaimed as godless by their opponents. In fact, most of the regimes attached themselves to the predominant religion of the country and chose to portray themselves as militant defenders of that religion. The fact that the ruling elite’s behavior was incompatible with the precepts of the religion was generally swept under the rug. Propaganda kept up the illusion that the ruling elites were defenders of the faith and opponents of the “godless.” A perception was manufactured that opposing the power elite was tantamount to an attack on religion. 9. Power of corporations protected. Although the personal life of ordinary citizens was under strict control, the ability of large corporations to operate in relative freedom was not compromised. The ruling elite saw the corporate structure as a way to not only ensure military production (in developed states), but also as an additional means of social control. Members of the economic elite were often pampered by the political elite to ensure a continued mutuality of interests, especially in the repression of “have-not” citizens. 10. Power of labor suppressed or eliminated. Since organized labor was seen as the one power center that could challenge the political hegemony of the ruling elite and its corporate allies, it was inevitably crushed or made powerless. The poor formed an underclass, viewed with suspicion or outright contempt. Under some regimes, being poor was considered akin to a vice. 11. Disdain and suppression of intellectuals and the arts. Intellectuals and the inherent freedom of ideas and expression associated with them were anathema to these regimes. Intellectual and academic freedom were considered subversive to national security and the patriotic ideal. Universities were tightly controlled; politically unreliable faculty harassed or eliminated. Unorthodox ideas or expressions of dissent were strongly attacked, silenced, or crushed. To these regimes, art and literature should serve the national interest or they had no right to exist. 12. Obsession with crime and punishment. Most of these regimes maintained Draconian systems of criminal justice with huge prison populations. The police were often glorified and had almost unchecked power, leading to rampant abuse. “Normal” and political crime were often merged into trumped-up criminal charges and sometimes used against political opponents of the regime. Fear, and hatred, of criminals or “traitors” was often promoted among the population as an excuse for more police power. 13. Rampant cronyism and corruption. Those in business circles and close to the power elite often used their position to enrich themselves. This corruption worked both ways; the power elite would receive financial gifts and property from the economic elite, who in turn would gain the benefit of government favoritism. Members of the power elite were in a position to obtain vast wealth from other sources as well: for example, by stealing national resources. With the national security apparatus under control and the media muzzled, this corruption was largely unconstrained and not well understood by the general population. 14. Fraudulent elections. Elections in the form of plebiscites or public opinion polls were usually bogus. When actual elections with candidates were held, they would usually be perverted by the power elite to get the desired result. Common methods included maintaining control of the election machinery, intimidating and disenfranchising opposition voters, destroying or disallowing legal votes, and, as a last resort, turning to a judiciary beholden to the power elite. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:35:00 AM | | Contest winners update As I mentioned earlier, Slateface and Spidra Webster were my "Visitor 10,000" winners. They will be getting the following prizes: Slateface will be the proud owner of a jersey that proclaims his status as a SUBVERSIVE ELEMENT, which should help the FBI a great deal in their efforts to root out un-American sentiment in this, TEH GREATSET COUNTRY EVAH. Spidra, meanwhile, gets an attractive long-sleeve t-shirt featuring a lovely quote from one of America's greatest philosophers, Henry David Thoreau. The rest of you are welcome to peruse my cafepress shop and select some posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:08:00 AM | Thursday, January 15, 2004
Dammit, it pains me to write this I'm a huge fan of NASA. I love the space program, and have in the past supported almost every proposal submitted towards moving America, and by extension, our species, into space to stay. President Bush has proposed a Moonbase/Mars mission program that I cannot in good conscience support, and it breaks my heart to say so. See, he's talking about adding $1 billion to existing programs to fund this plan, and that's just not enough. I suspect that instead we'll see further cuts in the Shuttle program, cuts for the ISS and cuts on research in every other area of space exploration, and no corresponding increase in funding for the fundamental programs we need to be pursuing. We should have already entered full-scale testing of Space Shuttle replacements - we need cheaper, more reliable replacements that can carry a payload at a price cheaper than tens of thousands of dollars per pound. We should be researching Zubrin's Mars Direct Plan, and designing ways to test it here and now. Space medicine, to determine ways to better combat bone mass loss. More importantly, we need a vision. A plan. Something more than "We're gonna go to Mars." Earth orbit would, in my opinion, be a much better place to set our sights, and not something like the ISS, which has become something of a boondoggle. Let's use these big ol' monkey brains and design easy-to assemble habitats that are well-shielded and simple to maintain. It's dangerous up there, to be sure, but no more dangerous for us than sailing across the Atlantic in a leaky wooden boat was for our ancestors. Once we've got a stable presence in orbit, we can ship up the pieces to assemble a moonbase and just drop 'em on the moon, and we can send all the stuff we'd need to return from Mars ahead to be waiting in orbit (and we can send enough that it won't matter if we lose something en route. So, Mr. President, get your shit together. Come up with a plan. Better yet, let the scientists come up with a plan, then come talk to me. Until then, don't waste my time. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:29:00 PM | More from the Assbag Department Bankruptcy trusteee out to screw over freelance writers. Lingua Franca went bankrupt a while back, some of you may recall. Robert Geltzer is the bankruptcy trustee in charge of the case, and he has taken the unprecedented step of demanding writers that received freelance checks from the magazine return their fees to him, as they are "unsecured creditors", and therefore not as important as "secured creditors", who are presumably paying Mr. Geltzer. He's informed the writers (and writers are not, as a general rule, the kind of folk that can afford this) that either they send the money back, or he sues them. Here's hoping Mr. Geltzer gets run over by a truck. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:33:00 AM | Number 10,000 Got two responses, and after diligent checking, I have determined that I can't absolutely determine the identity of the winner. Using my Solomaic wisdom, therefore, I proclaim both "Slateface" and Spidra Webster to be the winners. Prizes shall be announced once I've spoken with the winners. Thanks to all who indulged my obsessive-compulsive fondness for round numbers. Additional gimmies will be determined later. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:28:00 AM | Wednesday, January 14, 2004
If you are visitor number 10,000 Email me - I'm giving away prizes. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:21:00 PM | Please, guys - don't fuck this one up They've screwed up Riverworld, "Hellblazer", "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen". It is with some joy and more than a little trepidation that I point out the following news: Casting for a feature film of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has begun. Bill Nighy has been cast as Slartibartfast, and Martin Freeman will play Arthur Dent. Please, guys, do it right. Don't let the hamfisted morons fuck it up. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 12:12:00 PM | I'm sorry, a billion-and-a-fucking-half for WHAT? Shrub plans $1.5 billion marriage booster initiative. 'th' FUCK? Shit like this makes me jump up and down and scream. Which, oddly enough, is frowned upon in the traditional work environment. Wonder how many jobs could be created with that? Lessee - that 1,500,000,000.00. Assume we're looking for 1 year's worth of work at $30,000 a year (some kind of CCC-ish "makework" program to get folks working and money flowing), that's 50,000 jobs, more than FIFTY GODDAMN TIMES the net job increase posted in December. Ain't simple math fun? posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:28:00 AM | Some bad, some good. I achieved victory last night over the stripped bolt that's been preventing me from finishing the simple(!) job of replacing the brake pads on my car. Some day, I'm gonna run into the minimum-wage mechanic (and I use that term loosely) that used an air wrench to tighten that bolt on (half stripping it in the process), and I'm going to hurt him. Rob at About Pip posted a link to this article about the Roman Catholic Church's alliance with the Spanish right (you know, Franco's boyz) to prevent Gays there from achieving social equality. Rob's quoted the real humdingers on his blog, but I'll throw a couple atcha to feed your outrage: Cardinal Rouco Varela opined that gays were incapable of doing the right thing by making babies, whose future social security contributions might help to cover pensions paid to their bereaved partners. He warned of the "dramatic consequences" of allowing gay marriages, or giving unmarried couples of any kind the same rights as married couples, by referring to what he saw as the social and moral disintegration of other, unnamed, European countries. But it's not just the Queers, it's those damn single people, as well as the infertile - "By pretending to give the same value to all sorts of couples, including those incapable because of their nature of producing children, as is given to the family, one ends up with systematic institutional destruction of the basic unit of society." I'm more than a tolerant person - I consider myself rather accepting of a wide variety of lifestyle choices (including the traditional "Dad works at the office, Mom works at home" arrangement Melissa and I currently enjoy). I can't tolerate, however, pompous "eunuchs by choice" proclaiming whole swaths of society unfit to share the benefits others do simply because they're in some inconsequential way different. In fact, I want to grab idiots like Cardinal Varela by the scruff of the neck and shake them really, really hard, then slam their heads against the nearest section of pavement until some sense makes its way through their closed minds. Homophobic idiots like, oh, EVERYONE IN THE RCC HIERARCHY, need to JUST DIE ALREADY. Die, and make room for the people that are moving towards the future instead of psychotically clinnging to the vestiges of the Middle Ages. Wake up guys - the Earth is round, we came from apes, and assbags like you are irrelevant. Gaaaaaaaaaah. Im so pissed off, I won't even rant about Tom Cruise's latest idiotic statement, that Buddhism is the grandfather of $cientology. I will, however, point you at the side-splittingly funny report on WMDs at Ludic Log, written by special guest columnist Saddam Hussein. The Weapons of Biology Destruction. Okay. What had happened with these is some of them I sent to a laboratory to be turned into what is it, weaponized anthrax yes. That. And only it happens that it was not a laboratory after all but rather a dry-cleaner, and they lost it, besides which I do not have the ticket anyway so I could not get them back no matter if I wanted to. The rest of them, okay, I do not know why you have yet to get them, because I totally put them in the mail a couple of weeks ago, I even have the receipt still. So I will tell you what: keep checking the mail for them, and if they do not arrived in a couple of the weeks, give me a call and I will try and find out what has happen. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:02:00 AM | Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Bwah! Something for the Buffy & LOTR fans out there... "Once More With Hobbits". It's wrong, oh so wrong, but in a GOOD way. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:46:00 AM | PRIZES! PRIZES! Just a reminder - visitor 10,000 will get a special prize from me, because I like round numbers. I'm not sure what it will be yet, but it probably won't be any of the following: (1) Paris Hilton (2) Rabid monkeys (3) An all-expense paid trip to Disney World (4) Jewelry (5) Beer posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:32:00 AM | | Take me to your leader, after we get some chocolate iced custard filled and one of those boxes of hot coffee According to this article, aliens are coming to Earth for one reason, and one reason only: they covet our Krispy Kreme donuts. And really, who can blame them?  
Mmmmmm, donuts. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:40:00 AM | Monday, January 12, 2004
Hoopla! Huzzah! We've finally sorted out money issues, and we'll be going to the UK in mid-March. I'm dancin' right now. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:36:00 AM | Sunday, January 11, 2004
Interesting viewpoint And mildly amusing, in light of yesterday's survey results. Seems a philosopher at Cambridge wants to move Lust from a vice to a virtue. Prof Blackburn is aiming to save lust "from the denunciations of old men of the deserts, to deliver it from the pallid and envious confessor and the stocks and pillories of the Puritans, to drag it from the category of sin to that of virtue". According to the Sunday Times, Prof Blackburn has defined lust as "the enthusiastic desire for sexual activity and its pleasures for its own sake". The philosopher says that if reciprocated, lust leads to pleasure and "best flourishes when unencumbered by bad philosophy and ideology... which prevent its freedom of flow". He points out that thirst is not criticised although it can lead to drunkenness and in the same way lust should not be condemned just because it can get out of hand, the paper says. Professor Blackburn is quoted as saying: "The important thing is that generally anything that gives pleasure has a presumption in its favour. I like the way that man thinks. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:15:00 PM | Saturday, January 10, 2004
Saturday Morning Survey Fun  America ?? Which Country Are You From ?? brought to you by Quizilla  You are Lust! Sexy!! But they say that theres such a thing as too much of a good thing. You have sex on the brain, and it doesn't stay just there for long. Passionate, Fiery - and most certainly confident. You're a fun loving, spontaneous person who is always up for a laugh. People however, have trouble keeping up with you. You're sex crazy, and perhaps need to tone it down a bit! learn a little self control! But, Hey, Congratulations on being the Sexiest Red Hot deadly sin out of all the 7... ?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla The first doesn't surprise me, but I figured I skewed more towards wrath or gluttony than lust. Huh. From Gord, who has a lot of time for these, what with his bad back and all. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 6:54:00 AM | Friday, January 09, 2004
Oops Historic Viking settlement found in Scotland. Or maybe not. Seems that the archaeologists called to investigate the dig site in Buckhaven ignored the buried TV remote and WWII child's gas mask at the site at first, spending several months in excavations before determining that the site in question was a patio dating from the 1940's. Whoops. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 1:42:00 PM | Funny Linkage First off, there's an analysis of a Superman/Nestle Quik Bunny crossover comic on Gone and Forgotten. No, your eyes deceive you not. Superman. The Quik Bunny. Gaaaaaaaah. Then we move over to the webpage of Flatulent Technologies. Heh. Farts. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:47:00 AM | Friday 5 This one's from Fionna: I've just finished reading a book about Arctic Exploration from the 1860s to 1926, and have started another one about the truth behind the myths about pirates. What both these books have in common is that I get to relive some of the adventure stories I used to love as a child, whilst still pretending I'm being all scholarly and grown up. So my Friday 5 question is: Given an unlimited budget, the ability to travel through space and time, and a guarantee that you would return in the full of your health, which 5 adventures would you like to join in? They can be real adventures, from fiction, on other worlds, or a time and place you would really like to witness first hand. Adventure. I'm reminded of the adage that adventure is unpleasant things happening to other people, but hunger for it nonetheless. (1) Ernest Shackleton's Antarctic Odyssey. An amazing adventure, testament to the power of one man's will to keep his crew alive and survive the harshest environment on Earth. 105 days in the Antarctic, and not one man died. (2) Burton and Speke's expedition to find the source of the Nile. Burton is simply a fascinating character, and this is one of his more exciting journeys. Plus, I could administer a smackdown to Speke and prevent him from screwing Burton over. (3) Riverworld. Imagine a planet upon which have been reborn every human being that ever lived. Upwards of 37,000,000,000 people living along the banks of a river that covers the entire surface of a planet. For a history geek, what could be better than being able to track down Napoleon, or the crew of the Marie Celeste, or Leonidas of Sparta? (4) Francisco de Orellana's trip down the Amazon. Yes, he was a conquistador, and not one of the nicest people, but it's another journey that resonates with me for some reason. I would not, however, want to go on the journey of Don Lope de Aguirre (for details of which, rent Werner Herzog's "Aguirre: The Wrath of God" and be freaked out twice - once for the actual story, and once when you realize what a fucking visionary lunatic Herzog is. (5) The Quest for the Golden Fleece. Any of a number of versions of it, actually. The 1963 movie, the journey of myth, or even the real journeys it may have been based upon (trading or raiding expeditions, depending upon your source). Honorable mentions: Heinlein's Red Planet, any of Tarzan or John Carter's adventures, Sherlock Holmes' journeys after Reichenbach Falls. The rest of the Friday Fivers are, as always, located to the left. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:01:00 AM | Thursday, January 08, 2004
This is just flat-out WRONG, mister! Ken and Barbie as Aragorn and Arwen. 
Where's my whackin' stick? Gotta beat some sense into some folks at Mattel... posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 3:38:00 PM | More Unsurprising Personality Quiz Results  schizotypal Which Personality Disorder Do You Have? brought to you by Quizilla From Julie posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 2:01:00 PM | Apologies Not much spittle-flecked Goodness today, folks. Got some minor stressors going off at the moment, I'll be better tomorrow. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 1:12:00 PM | Your computer wants to make you happy, ladies USB port vibrator. What will they think of next? I'm still waiting for a jet pack and a laser pistol. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:24:00 AM | Wednesday, January 07, 2004
And a few things that are more light-hearted. Kind of. (1) Oregon man's friends foil apartment. 
(2) UK Garbage man dumps 20 tons of trash by accident, forced to clean it up solo. Poor bastard. This really made me pity him: He was on the verge of tears as he shifted rotting party food, old clothes, turkey bones, empty bottles and hundreds of yards of Christmas wrapping paper. After a while, upper management sent in a front-loader to help clean up the mess. And you think your day at work sucked? (3) This one's rather sad, but ironic in the way that folks like me find bleakly amusing. A Scandanavian robin, one of only 30 to do so since 1919, made a grueling 400 mile flight to the UK, only to be eaten by a cat upon arrival. So, how was your commute today? posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:55:00 AM | What. A. DICK! New York judge says domestic violence victims ask for it, and want to get smacked around. Happily, the judge has resigned, but I'm sure that's cold comfort to all the women before this who had hoped that the legal system might, say, lock up all the sorry bastards that were abusing them. Hamley was accused of telling the victim of domestic violence that such cases are "dragged out" and a "waste of the court's time." He also was accused of telling a state trooper that most women enjoy being abused and they asked to get "smacked around," according to the commission. Of course, by resigning, he doesn't have to get his ass reamed by an investigative commission, and I'm sure he'll be spinning it as being forced out of office by the demons of political correctness. Personally, I wish we could find some abusive shit that would be willing to move in with him and beat his ass senseless every goddamn day. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 9:44:00 AM | Tuesday, January 06, 2004
Too. Fuckin'. SWEET Laser keyboard. No moving parts - a sensor determines where your fingers are. Looks pretty cool, if you ask me. Means no more cokes spilled on the keyboard, for one thing. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:41:00 AM | Need your blood pressure raised? Well, dig these bits o' assbaggery: (1) US Dept of Labor telling employers how to cheat their staff out of overtime pay. I'd call the US Dept of Labor a bunch of goddamn shitlicking scumfucking maggots, but that would insult all the goddamn shitlicking scumfucking maggots out there that actually contribute to our economy. At the same time that the Chimp-in-Thief is touting the hundreds of millions of dollars low-income Americans can earn with the revised overtime laws, his boys in Labor are making sure those folks can't actually get their goddamn money. I sweartafuckinGawd, I want to feed those motherfuckers their goddamn eyeballs. Let's see - the new laws Bu$hco snuck through make it harder for folks like me to get overtime pay, and his dungeating underlings are making sure that they cheat everyone else out of their money, too. Here's a suggestion - why not chain us to our jobs, and cut off our ears if we try to run away? If you wanna do feudal, goddamn do it, fuckbags. (2) Congress gets another pay raise. You know, for a job that, by definition ANY AMERICAN OVER THE AGE OF 25 IS ELIGIBLE FOR, these bastards sure do get a lot of pay raises. It's been 2 years since I got a measly 2% raise, and I'm one of the lucky ones. I've got friends that have been out of work for months, there are people that have been unemployed for years, and these fucking ratbastards just slip themselves a little somthin' extra every chance they get. Now, I don't advocate acts of violence against our congressional delegations, as they would be WRONG. Still, this news does make you want to track 'em down and kick them in the fuckin' crotch. Hard. (3) Pakistan - bombmaker to the STARS. Libya, Iran, North Korea, Al Quaeda - name a nation or group with a rogue nuclear program, Pakistan built it for 'em. So these guys are our allies? Right up there with the Saudis, I guess. Here's an idea - let's stop funding Pakistan. India's a much better choice in terms of stability and democracy in that region anyway. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:15:00 AM | Now this result I can believe  congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything. You must be so proud which happy bunny are you? brought to you by Quizilla Thanks to Ray for this one. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 7:33:00 AM | Monday, January 05, 2004
One of us, ONE OF US El Kabong of [Rising Like A Trout] is getting a vasectomy. Read up, folks. Here's hoping he doesn't have any "OH, JESUS" moments. Late addendum Actually, El Kabong's already done gone and got it done. I'm still working on that "pay attention when you read" thing. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:54:00 AM | Two related stories, both kind of odd (1) Use a claw game to select your lobster dinner. $2 gets you a chance to drop a claw in a tank and pick out a lobster for dinner. I'd give it a go, I think, but then I gots me some mad claw skillz. Unsurprisingly, animal rights activists are really upset about this. "The animal is going to be boiled to death in the kitchen already. This exploitation of their death makes it that much worse," Animal Rights Foundation of Florida spokesman Nick Atwood said. Dude, they're fucking lobsters - they're only slightly smarter than 700 Club supporters. As far as they're concerned, the Claw is a god, taking selected lobsters to Lobster Heaven. Come to think of it, maybe they view it as a version of The Rapture. Who are we, then, to interfere with their religious development? (2) 7 year old boy climbs into claw machine. While his dad, 3 feet away, was on a pay phone, this kid climbed INTO a claw machine through the 8x10 prize door. There's a funny picture, too. No word if the kid got to keep a stuffed animal for his troubles. Poached from Fark posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 10:09:00 AM | Sunday, January 04, 2004
Damn your black heart, Henry Ford I've been dealing with a stripped bolt on the brake shoe of our Ford Taurus for some time now - the brake pads are in dire need of replacement, and I've been stalled by this damn bolt. We finally had enough money this Friday, so I went out and (on the advice of a gearhead friend) bought a Dremel tool so I could grind down the rounded bits on the bolt and tap it out, then go buy a replacement. So far today, I've had no luck, and light is fading. I really, really don't want to have to pay some mechanic to do this. I hate cars, I really do. At least, I hate owning them and having to maintain them. If we lived in an area with decent public transporatation, I think we'd probably just stick with one car period. I'd also like to send a big old "Fuck you very much!" to all the idiots in the Austin metro area that have consistently voted against properly funding a halfway decent bus/light rail system. I hope you all choke to death on exhaust fumes. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 4:16:00 PM | Saturday, January 03, 2004
And, to make matters more fun... Seems I'm running a fever. Woo-hoo! posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:19:00 PM | Very tired Up late last night, up early with the kids. This is the first chance I've had to be near the computer long enough to do any thing at all today, and there's only time for a very short entry and then back downstairs. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 4:24:00 PM | Friday, January 02, 2004
Oot and aboot Over at our friends' house today for a "Firefly" DVD party. Gonna watch all the episodes on a projection TV system. Prolly gonna order us some dim sum for dinner, too. Good times, good times. And tomorrow, I get to fix the brakes on the Taurus. w00t! posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 1:35:00 PM | Thursday, January 01, 2004
Resolutions 1) Get back in the gym at least once a week. Last summer, I was going 3 times a week, and I was making real progress. Since Alec's arrival, I've been sticking closer to home to give Melissa as much downtime as possible. Once Alec's 6 months old, we can put him in child care at the Y and both exercise at the same time. I may not ever achieve rock-hard 6-pack abs, but I can definitely do better than I am right now. (2) Write and submit an essay/story for publication. I've got some ideas kicking around, but haven't really done anything with them. I want to have one thing done by mid-year just so I know I can do it. (3) Catalogue my comic collection and books. I've got some freeware that handles all the minutiae, and all I have to do is enter title, writer and genre. It's a matter of a couple of hours a week with a small stack of books in front of the computer. With that done, I can look at getting a valuation of our signed First Editions and comics, and determine if we need a rider on our homeowner's insurance in case of disaster. (4) Get computer #2 running and networked, then set up downstairs. It'll give the kids their own computer again, and allow me and Melissa to check email, write downstairs, lessening the risk of the big kids getting into trouble. (5) Make a cloak. I've got a sewing machine and a pattern, all I've got to do is get off my ass and actually learn to sew. Shouldn't be that hard, and that way, I'll have the biggest part of my Hallowe'en costume ready. (6) Learn acrobatics, unarmed combat and lockpicking, then make a costume and embark upon a second career as a costumed vigilante. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:41:00 AM | Happy New Year Kind of ended last year with a bang in yesterday's entry, or rather in the comments thereof. 'Nuff said there, moving on. Some amusement for you today. You know how the FBI (Motto: Boldly moving law enforcement into the 19th Century) issued an alert that terrorists were using almanacs? Some folks have left some very interesting reviews of The Old Farmer's Almanac on Amazon.com. Best quote: When I was but a sapling terrorist, still green in youth, we didn't have fancy-schmancy Al Qaeda training, and we didn't need it. No sir, all we needed to get those stolen crop-dusters off the ground and spray those biological agents over the unsuspecting heartland was pure gumption, the early writings of Richard Bach, and of course, the Old Farmer's Almanac. Stoopid FBI. posted by Adam C. Lipscomb at 8:15:00 AM | |
